apple juice

We were shopping at Menards today. If you are not living within the reach of Menards, it could be thought of as a big hardware, lawn and garden place. Much like Home Depot. Except uniquely Minnesotan. [or at least midwestern] Witness the below pictures:

This is just what you need to finish the decorating on your house! It talks! It sings! It comes with a Microphone so you can talk and freak out your friends! Ahh! The deer is talking!

When I was walking past this display, there was an older gentleman, dressed in carharts and a flannel hat. He spoke into the microphone, “Test, Test” and then looked upwards towards the magical deer. No deerlips were moving, again “Test, 1, 2, Test”. Nothing. Shake microphone… “Test, 1, 2”

At this point, I almost lost it. But I soldiered on, undeterred. We needed a compost bin. Of course there was no compost bin. They had them, but they are now discontinued. Oh yes, there is one in stock in Blaine. “No, thanks”, I say.

I only go to Blaine in the direst of circumstances.

On the way back to find the Juice-ette, I pass the deer again, it’s singing “Sweet Home Alabama”. My day has been made.

I mentioned in the previous post that I’ll be heading down to the fair grounds for this year’s Living Green Expo.

This is something I think about a fair amount… We all drive cars, use energy, do wasteful things, throw away recyclebles, eat cow, etc. There are things you could do… like spend, oh, about $25,000 to install solar panels on your house, sell your car and buy the patent for that stair stepper bike that dude in downtown Minneapolis rides around, get a team of hamsters to generate electricity at your house, etc. But that’s not terribly feasible. And it’s not like you can go and install a huge wind turbine in your back yard either…

But here’s something you can do (if you are served by Xcel Energy in Colorado, New Mexico or Minnesota):

Go to this page at Xcel Energy about Windsource

Call them up, they will tell you how many blocks you use, and then you can buy the equivalent amount of wind energy.

There’s some fine print there, you aren’t insuring that the electricity that comes to your house was wind-generated, but what you’re doing is basically adding more wind-energy to Xcel’s overall pool.

You can cover up-to your average electricity bill, so I bought 5 blocks, which was an extra $10 a month.

It’s a little something you can do, and it won’t break the bank either.

No, not Minneapolis unfortunately.

This is a great article on Mayor Daley’s quest to turn Chicago into the “greenest” city in America. It’s the kind of visonary, “look-what-we-can-do-when-we-work-together” stuff that I just eat up.

Back in 1989 newly elected Mayor Richard M. Daley was plagued with how to lift Chicago out of the post-industrial slag heap. He had a simple yet brilliant idea: plant more trees. This turned into a wholesale reformation of the city’s crumbling 100+ year old infrastructure. Since 1989, the city has spent $5.2 billion improving Chicago’s walkways, streets, parks and neighborhood communities. Most impressive amongst a list of admirable achievements was facing the great white elephant that was the Chicago River. Buildings once faced away from the river to avoid the stench, and the extent of damage was reminiscent of the Lake Erie chemical fires of the 1970s. Today large sections along both branches have reemerged as residential districts full of townhomes, high-rises and converted loft communities with a meticulously landscaped riverwalk stretching for miles.

This article talks about many of the things I wish I could do if I were working in the “Minneapolis Department of the Environment”. I wonder how we could get that started…

I’m on the phone with FedEx, asking if I can pick up my package today. (I can’t)

He put me on hold to call the local FedEx center, and the hold music was EXACTLY the same as what was playing in my office.

Sync’ed exactly.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, sweet sounds floated down from above. Put the receiver back to my ear. It’s in surround sound now.

The Muzak is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now in this very room. You can hear it when you look out your window. Or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work. When you go to Church. When you pay your taxes. It is the music that has been pulled over your ears to blind you from the truth.

Here’s some more on everyone’s favorite lip-sync’er,

Here, then, is the cautionary tale of Gary Brolsma, 19, amateur videographer and guy from New Jersey, who made the grave mistake of placing on the Internet a brief clip of himself dancing along to a Romanian pop song.

Internet Fame Is Cruel Mistress for a Dancer of the Numa Numa

For the record I think this guy is awesome. The article is a little sad, it says he’s depressed, after all the fame… Well, if you read this Gary, I say you’re awesome!

A few links I’ve stolen in the past couple days:

• Bacontarian

I say “my favorite bacon” with some reservation. It’s the best bacon that I’ve eaten yet. I hope and trust in the LARD that I haven’t eaten my favorite bacon yet, and that the LARD will bestow upon me many bacons to come, each with their own favorable characteristics.

• Bacon Whores

Finally, you can have tasty, sizzling bacon, without all the shopping, planning, and preparation. Just schedule your appointment at baconwhores.com, and our trained experts will come and prepare bacon for you, exactly the way you like it.

• An interview with author Dave Eggers

O: One review of Giraffes? Giraffes! hyped it as “a clever, postmodern satire targeting the ponderousness, seriousness, and intellectual pretension of the scientific establishment.” Is the philosophy behind those books really that complicated?

DE: [Laughs.] Well, that’s the job of writing about books, or about art: We sometimes make something out to be more serious than it is. I’m an amateur science enthusiast. I’m not even a professional enthusiast. I don’t know anything; I never even passed biology in high school. But I read the science section of the newspaper. I have a friend who sends me the weirdest science stories from around the world. It’s always been an interest of mine.

• Man listens to Dancing Queen by Abba on repeat for an entire 5 hour road trip

Self Explanatory… 5 min video

• Why Craigslist Works, a Change This Manifesto

There are more, but for now, that will keep you busy. Thanks to Matt and Jason Kottke for all the linkery.

Pitchers and Catchers reported on Sunday, an event that always turns my attention towards spring. Good thing we got 4 inches of snow yesterday.

It does look nice and wintry outside now, a snowy blanket covering everything. But I know in the back of my mind that there are Pitchers and Catchers warming up, tossing batting practice, chewing bubble gum (insert romantic baseball feelings here).

Have you ever tried to answer the question “What is your favorite season?” It’s an underrated question. I think the answer for me is as follows:

• November 15th – (Whatever day Pitchers and Catchers Report, usually about Feb 20th) – Winter
• Pitchers and Catchers until Opening Day – Spring
• Opening day until about August 14th (whatever night happens to be the one where it is 95% humidity and 84 degrees at 10:00pm) – Summer
• August 14th until November 14th – Fall

So I guess I like all the seasons. Which is one good thing about living in Minnesota: All 4 seasons are present and accounted for.

But this was going to be about baseball! I’m even more excited than usual for the Twins season this year. Hopefully we will see a full season of Joe Mauer. Justin Morneau will hopefully see a full season as well. The pitching staff is solid, and if Joe Mays pitches well, better than last year.

This will be my first season back in Minneapolis. I probably won’t have season tickets this year, but the dream is still alive. I’m hoping to make it to about 20 games this summer. (Maybe I’ll get the voucher tickets?)

Also, I’ve begun research for CBaO BBL ’05. The draft is fast approaching!

If we could only get a new stadium.