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Hello Friends and Family,

Do not be alarmed if you call our cell phones and get our home answering machine or my work voice mail… you are not crazy, you called the correct number…

It’s just that I discovered how to utilize the call forwarding feature on my cell phone, so we are going to try that out and see how it works. Our house exists in a 40’x130′ black hole of cell reception… as anyone who has tried to call us knows. I think I saw the AT&T Wireless crews out on our block the other day. They had “Singular” written in magic marker on their hats. As in, there is a singular, non-stationary spot inside of our house for which you will receive full signal strength. They had tape measures and survey equipment, and little boxes with antennas. I’m not sure what they were up to, other than obviously thwarting my attempts to use their service. I’m still the poor fellow you see in their commericials at the breakfast table with only 1 bar above his head. Where I sit at work I have 5 bars. Crystal Clear, all the time. At home, it’s hard to say, but depending on atmospheric conditions, the position of the moon, the tides, solar flare activity, if it’s recycling day, and whether or not Yeti has gas, between 1 and 5 bars.

On another note, I figured out how to work our answering machine. Actually it’s Doug‘s answering machine, but I think he bequeathed it to me when he moved out of our apartment in Golden. It’s a Southern Bell machine, back from when there was a Southern Bell telephone company (ahh, the good old days, before anyone had a cell phone that could fit in your pocket). Regardless, there is no manual. The internets were no help in that regard either. So, today, at lunch, I just started mashing the buttons and it worked. I suppose it got tired of resisting me after 5 years of dutifully recording our messages.

We will now know the exact date and time you called, and you will be greeted by my friendly voice instead of that otherworldly character that has been inhabiting the machine until now.