Archive for the 'Random Thoughts' Category

Living Green Expo

Is anyone going to the Living Green Expo in Minneapolis next weekend? Does anyone from Minneapolis actually read this site? Feel free to add a comment if you have answers to either of those burning questions.

I was hoping to go check it out, but time on the weekends is a hot commodity right now. Going to random expos in my leisure is among the things I hope to do once we move up there. But for now, the weekends are filled with action and little downtime.

O Canada!

AlterNet: O Canada; Oy Vey United States

The U.S. and Canada share a common border and much else. We are alike ethnically and economically. We eat the same foods. We watch the same movies. We speak the same language. But we think and act differently. And this difference has become more and more evident in recent months.

We’re moving to Canada.

Weapons of Math Instruction

Someone on orkut sent me this…

At New York’s Kennedy Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man to be a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,” Ashcroft said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the Axis of Medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle.'”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

Tap Water

Coca – Cola Admits That Dasani is Nothing But Tap Water

I don’t think I could read a funnier piece of news today!

Butchering the Spanish Language

I’ve just spent the last half hour butchering the spanish language. I need to apologize to the people of guatemala to whom I’ve spoken with on the phone. You have been very nice to this loco norteamericano. If only I had spent more time eschuche en la clase instead of dormÈ en la clase, I would be doing much better. Or maybe if I had just focused on one language instead of taking french, then spanish, then swedish, and then back to spanish.

If lady luck is smiling upon me, at approximately sieto y media I will be able to speak with my lovely wife. If not I will be forced to babble incomprehensibly at the gentleman on the other end of the phone while the only spanish phrases that will come to mind are: mis pantalones esta en fuego, donde esta el baÒo? and Hace mucho frio en minnesota.

Groundhog Day

It’s Groundhog Day, and Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter

The world’s most famous furry forecaster “saw” his shadow this chilly Groundhog Day morning, which according to tradition means six more weeks of winter.

I think we know who to blame for all the hoopla surrounding Groundhog Day. Bill Murray.

The Daily Show

Did anybody watch The Daily Show last night? It was one of the funniest ones I’ve ever seen. They did some compare and contrast between this year’s and last year’s State of the Union address.

Even though they bag on Dean too much in my opinion, they make fun of everyone else as well so it’s cool.

As their guest they had John McCain on, who was being very funny and quite sarcastic about President Bush’s “Tax Cut and Spend” proposals. Do you know what would be amazing. Dean gets nominated and he picks McCain as his running mate. Think about it… McCain is a fiscal conservative, in favor of balanced budgets, in favor of campaign finance reform. I think they would get along great. He would rally some of the Republican fiscal conservatives that Bush has been pissing off throughout his term, and also provide Dean with some credibility and experience with how to deal with Congress.

What’s not to like? Oh yeah, one’s republican and the other democrat… but wouldn’t that show people that they really are uniters and not dividers?

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